Junzhu, 18
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
12:03 AM
it's really bad for me to read other people blog posts now.
i think i'm too sensitive to almost anything right now.
i don't know why. i know it's bad for me to feel negative,
since i'm still sick.. well, i've been sick for three whole days,
having stomach flu, started having diarrhoea since sat night.
i havent been sleeping well since the day i've fallen sick,
been worrying about my assessments and lots of work
undone plus my sickness and all.. sighs. two days mc = two days
stress more. i'm feeling so stressed up that i can't really rest well
at all..i know it's bad for a sick person to be upset but still,
i couldn't help it. i've never felt so alone when i'm sick.
except for the concern from my family what else i should expect?
my assessments are really coming so why am i still feeling so low?
aren't i'm suppose to brace on, fight for my last two weeks?
my sis is going taiwan on this friday, she's feeling very excited,
yet i seriously had no feelings at all right now.
i'm so stressed up and tired after days of my medication,
sleeping and sleeping, headache and headache,
stomache and stomache, giddness and giddness..
i guess my energy is running out very soon.
very very soon... i need some motivation.
especially when i get better.
i need to buck up.
but HOW?
how..how..how..
i really wished someone could hear all my thoughts out.
but who?
who could hear all my stupid thoughts now?
どしよかな…
亀，私も亀がやりたいな…
バカでしよ? 私わ...
誰が助けてください！
people do really change over time,
i guess that's one thing i can't do to you.
but i hope, you're changing for the better and
not for the worse.. that's the only thing i can do for you.
signing off, じゅんちゃん
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Saturday, April 26, 2008
12:33 PM
restrictions. reflection on actions done.
being organized. planning. discipline.
determination. positive thinking.
finding meaning in LIFE.
above all is what i wanted to achieve
by the end of my third year.
still striving hard, struggling with my own
thinking and all, but i know i CAN do it.
i can. i will and I MUST.
i needa plan well from now on.
assessments are coming in just two weeks time
and i can't afford to joke around.
i've been feeling low at times nowadays
but still i force myself not to be in that state for long.
i kow i'll think through alot and i know i can as
the time passes each day...
been contricdicting and confused but i'll stay postive
as someday, sometime i'll find the right way to my
life.. MY WAY of living my life. sagashimasu.
ganbatte masu.
i shall stay the way i am now.
i know what's good for me, and what's not.
my future is for me to decide.
life's is all about making decisions.
especially now. when i'm still pursuing my own
dreams. i can't really say whether what are my dreams
are as watashi wa moyotemas demo,
watashi no mirai watashi wa kimeru kara.
jibun ga shinjiteru! motto benkyo shite..
ganbatte! ganbatte! ganbatte!
(sorry to those who don't understand jap. XP)
DON'T YOU EVER STOP. (: 14/5
signing off, zhu.
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
10:35 AM
currently in the school library doing research.
muahaha. so lazy now to do anything though.
been so slack these few days.. XP
but still, hafta do work at the SAME time.
was watching national geo. yest night till 12.30..
all about global warming.
frankly speaking, had been concerning about the earth's
live since last month.. earth's future is really for us
to take care of. many might think ice age doesn't concern about us
but in fact it DOES concern about us. and not just us,
about our future generation..
i want my grandsons and daughters to see the world as it is
not the wipe out of the earth. it's really a saddening thing
to know that we humans are destroying the nature by emiting
carbon dioxide through manufacturing, emitions of greenhouse
gases, deforestation, waste of electricity etc etc.
it's really now ONE FOR ALL, ALL FOR ONE.
we are living on earth and yet disturbing the nature,
the earth resources and over using it.
the report about the earth's in danger after 50 years..
which i'm already 60plus? haha. thinking far isn't really
bad actually, so i should start doing something to slow down.
the rate of global warming. even it's by a little bit. :)
well, days had been really confusing for me as usual.
haha. really reflecting on my actions since the start of school.
sometimes i really think that i need time to change my way of
thinking. it's like duh..
aiyah, i don't know what am i talking about lah.
shall talk about it again next time.
ending here.
cheers, zhu.
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Saturday, April 19, 2008
10:33 AM
好久没有讲话华语了呀！
哈哈哈哈～
有很多时候都在用英语说话，
现在就连打华文字都有点困难呢。
天啊，难道华文退步了吗？
没关系，我会慢慢学习进步的！
hee. i know, my malay friends won't understand my
chinese.. haha. back to english channel please!
sharifah and liyana always speaking malayu
infront of judy and me when we both don't understand
a single thing! so bad leh. but i don't blame them,
after all, malayu is their mother language..
but please, speak more english okkk!
let us improve our english together! alright?
haha.
i shall just post some pictures.. wednesday's pics and yesterday's!
went out with songci.. been a long time since i've last
saw her ne! happy awhile. (: we went to lau pa sat,
took quite a number of pictures while my battery
running damn low.. haha. yupz, here are the pics!
uss at peacy centre restroom!
i like this pic. so funny and sweet(:
that's me! (: taken by songci.
muchie Yummy donuts! (:
bitter sweet donuts!
haha. so natural and nice songci!
nice lighting and well taken fatty me!
our spectsss!
satayyyy!
chendoll!
shall update about trip to SAM tmr..
photobucket unstable now ne. sighs.
soooo tired now. muscles aching,
nerves of my legs are so tight now!
have been walking too much today.
shall rest, get recharged! ganbatte mas,
jya matta ne! (:
loves, zhu
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
10:30 AM
hmmmmm.
was thinking the whole night..
maybe i've watched too much death note.
haha.
frankly speaking, DEATH NOTE ANIMAE is damn nice.
seriously interesting yet scary.
i cannot imagine anyone with such minds!
be it the characters in the animae or the
comic writer.. damn scary.
but still, it's a good script.
well written and really makes me feel
satisfied with the animae. (:
been thinking ALOT nowadays..
how can i finish my work?
how should i plan my days?
what should i do to become a better person?
these questions been in my thinking these
days and these few weeks..
hmm. maybe i'll just have to think of a way to make
myself days better and much more meaningful!
gotta buck up, brace on, hang on, GANBATTE MASU!
well, gonna prepare for schoolie now!
sore jya, matta!
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Saturday, April 12, 2008
8:27 PM
was struggling whether to blog actually.
well, obviously i failed to force myself not to blog..ha.
today.
my most dramatic and tired day.
dramatic?
will talk about it later.
tired?
was doing my pastel the WHOLE DAY.
usually i can finish my pastel in 3-4 hours time..
but now?
sighs. been so damn idiotic negative today.
i don't like the feeling of being negative,
in fact, I HATE TO BE NEGATIVE!
but the thing is i'm so damn stressed up.
i put in too much pressure to myself.
i'm forcing myself to complete a whole lot
of work today but oh my god.
again and again i was thinking why am i so stupid?
i'm so slow in learning.. going to year 2 and still
my proportion still cannot get it right.
argh. frustrated and angry, i cried.
i broke down totally and seriously cried like a baby.
sobbing like mad, as if there was no tomorrow.
i'm in the room and i tried to keep my sobbing so low that
none of my family members had noticed that i was crying
like mad. seriously, it's been a long long long time since i've
last cried like a baby. too stressed up i guess?
basically was crying and crying for the whole day.
i couldn't stop crying actually.
my tears just kept flowing.
my family, my friends.
when i needed them the most,
they're always not there for me.
i couldn't stop myself from thinking this way,
as i'm feeling so upset and fed up today.
i'm totally unsure why am i behaving like this.
and still i'm quite impressed by myself.
i managed to cry and do work at the same time..
LOL.
weird eh?
siao ah. many might think how do you do that?
don't ask me, i just did it.
i managed to correct my proportions and i'm halfway
done with my work. sugoi ne? haha.
i'm really mentally and physically tired right now.
i've used up all my energy in crying and doing work.
i didn't realised that crying makes me tired! haha.
but right now, i'm fine. just feeling exhuasted.
i couldn't get rid of the stress, since i'm still left with a stack
of work to complete.. plus assessments are round the corner,
and i'm still putting on high hopes in myself.
i can't possibly throw off my stress and relax!
haiyo! why like this again.
you see? negative DO bounces front and back.
the more you think of the negative way,
the more upset you get.
i cannot be like this anymore!
had enough. really. it's too much for me.
i should NOT be thinking of all these.
i must really sort out my feelings,
and find my fighting spirit back.
i will, and i must.
ganbatte! (:
cheers, zhu
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Thursday, April 10, 2008
6:55 PM
i felt that i've made myself walked to the original place.
i've been walking in circles, as if there's no the end.
why am i feeling this way?
i'm had always been positive,
why am i so negative now?
i find myself in tears three times today.
no one notices it, i guess.
maybe i'm releasing stress by tearing?
i think so...i can actually feel myself putting on weight.
not because i'm fat, because the amount of workload
and stress on me..
day by day, month by month.
assessments are really coming.
better buck up~
i better stop myself from thinking so much for the time being.
cause i know, my negatives won't last for long.
it'll be over soon.
it'll be OVER.
just back to who i am.
cheers, zhu.
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
10:10 PM
151 posts. just reached 151 posts?!?! oh my god. break record man! been blogging for 4 years and there are only one hundred and fifty one posts ONLY? haha. well, having bad aches since this morning! slept at 3am yesterday.. doing my painting and my 3D sketches which the both tchers really getting on my nerves! JY wasn't in class 8/10 of the time.. couldn't hand up my hard work-my painting to him.. and then 3D. tss! he accepted ONE of my sketches. ONE! i've drew 3 whole pages of sketches and only one got accepted? wahh. being an artist isn't easy eh? (like DUH.) oh well, anyway... today was doing my LAST WEEK'S PASTEL work in the end, i still hasn't finish! been soooo hardworking till now, too tired to do anything. haha. probably looking forward too much on hols? not sure ne. life's been FUN as i get lotsa new stuffs learnt this term especially..and i simply LOVE CHARCOAL! even though not excellent, but still i like the way it is on the paper! so elegant and simple! :) i can't deny that i'm enjoying my life now, although it's been hard and difficult to survive in an art school, especially when there's soo much (VERY expensive) stuffs to buy and competitions all around the earth.. AH~! the EARTH! must really take care of it! no wastage of paper, plastic and especially water! most most MOST IMPTLY, NEVER SMOKE! such a great damage to the atmosphere.. (haha. i'm being so random eh?) my friends in sch shld have been thinking this crazy junzhu keep saying 'must save the earth', 'don't waste this, don't waste that..' hee. SORRY LUrr.. i meant it ALWAYS when i say all those.. serious man. global warming is terrible. i don't want my grandchildren to suffer and never get to see this beautiful earth! SAVE THE WORLD, PREVENT GLOBAL WARMING FROM WORSENING. :) ok, coming back to the main topic. imma suppose to start my second painting, which is due by fri.. still, i'm here to blog all these rubbish. (excluding the saving the earth part) alright, anyway.. school's been fine today, although i didn't do much for my work.. was too tired to have my pastel done! assessments are just the round the corner.. have to buck up! no matter what.. NO MATTER MATTER! rest if i must, determined to finish all of my work by 3/2 days before the submission period! ganbatte masu! aja aja fighting! my birthday wishes for yamapi, delicate to all pi fans! (see next post)
me with vivian's strawberry umbrella!
Staying the way i am.
thanks to sharifah najiah for this nicely taken photo! :)
i know i'm fat. need not to say. gotta slim down a little!
haha. just a little will do. XP
before i forget, my wishes to
YAMASHITA TOMOHISA (as a tribute to my sis..) :
hoping he'll have a better treatment for fans in korea..
and NEVER lose his wallet again! that's all!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMAPI! :)
shingaporu kitte yo! fando minna san matteru kara..
kat-tun no kamenashi to akanishi yishoni kitte ne!
matte masu! (:
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Sunday, April 06, 2008
10:59 PM
Love sooo sweet... yabasuki yanen! oh my. i just caught the Arashi and K8 virus! had been listening to their songs lately ne.. oh my oh my. XP and i would like to give thanks to iqa chan, for tagging and motivating me at the sama time :) arigatou! really hoping for good drama for kame ne.. my report finally has some progress, little by little.. but one thing that is irritating! Bell's theory and Nigel's arguement is really getting on my nerves~~ i don't understand! it's really been hard on me as i spent the whole afternoon reading just ONE CHAPTER of Nigel's and trying to understand what he said about Bell. die. mati. si le. xi liao. shinjyata yo! how now brown cow. decided to at least finish up my report and my pastel today so that i can start my painting tmr and tuesday.. but no no no no.. i can't even finish my report! i guess, i 'm far way to slack these few days. too tired i guess. tired of school work, tired from stress. and problems with people nowadays. sigh. never mind, it'll be over soon de. it'll be over. cheers to positive! ups will stay, downs go away! :) ganbatte ne, jun chan! kame mo, shikoto ganbatte masu kara!
just recently i'm into photography of the skies. (:
life's really been complicated ne.
oh well, since i'm pisces, what can i do yeah?
chuandaoqiaotouziranzhi. jiayou-ing.
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Saturday, April 05, 2008
11:37 PM
HISTORY REPORTO
HISTORY REPORTO
HISTORY REPORTO
HISTORY REPORTO!!
(that's to remind myself)
oh my. been doing simply NOTHING
the whole day. my report isn't getting any
progress though. oh well. another sleepless night.
maybe sometimes i do feel that i'm not of any
help to anybody anymore.
just that i've been trying to help my friends nowadays
but many don't even bother of don't even appreciate my
kindness... well, maybe i'm just too much of a troublesome
than help bah. maybe i should concentrate more on myself
than my friends bah? i don't know. i'm too kpo alr?
well well well. life is just like a boat.
i missed KAMENASHI KAZUYA's acting!
please, any good script writers and director
to let him act in a good drama! PLEASE!!
onegai shimasu~!
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Thursday, April 03, 2008
11:56 PM
to ALL who's feeling low, stressed and depressed.
especially for songwanci (:
"life's full of ups and downs."
this sentence had been said by me for a thousand
millions of times to my friends.
if your life now sucks, it's rots, and you hate it,
i'm gonna tell you just one thing:
What your life means to you?
to me, it meant alot of things.
even though i'm ONLY eighteen, i've been through
quite alot of roller coasters rides..
which i actually want to thank god, buddha,
whoever gave me these 'great' experiences that had
made me grow up eveytime after these incidents.
Be it the happiest moments or even the saddest
moments in my life, these made me become more matured
and made me treasure the things around me more.
as i grow up, i realised things that i haven't really
think / pay attention to had been really important to me now.
in the past, i've been focusing on relationships too much.
but now, i'm more focused on my studies as well as my family.
i think as years goes by, people tend to forget 'themselves'.
what i mean is people tend to cover up who they really are.
i was came across this quote, "usually when you're unhappy,
is when you're not being yourself."
which it happens to me alot of times. JUST BE YOURSELF!
be who you wanted to be. you'll be much more happier.
when you're unhappy, say it out!
dont just sit there and grumble or complain to yourself.
write down or blog about it! take it as a habit for you to
'reecord' your life down.. you'll realise in the future
how stupid you were to be angry / sad about these things.
when you write/record these things down, your mind
will repeat the incident itself. after you've recorded down,
RETHINK again. REFEEL again.
why are you feeling low in the first place?
why are you unhappy about certain things?
what you wish to do after you're feeling bad?
would you want to solve the problem?
for me, i'll talk to myself. i'll make sure i wouldn't be
sad over these incidents again. i may try to change
my thoughts when i'm about to get upset about these
things. i DO really feel better.
RATHER than keep bouncing the negative thoughts,
why not make a change to it?
calm yourself down, THINK!!! would you want yourself
to be unhappy for these things which doesn't do any good
to you or would you want to make a change to your thinkings
and you'll never get upset for these kind of things again?
why would you want to CHOOSE to be UNHAPPY
when you CAN BE HAPPY?
YOU CAN CHOOSE! LIFE, you only get to live it once.LIVE your LIFE to the FULLEST!
it's your choice.jiayou songci, i know you'll get over it. think about it ok?it's time for you to grow up girl! :)
( i seriously think that i can have a motivational
talk of my own. haha! XP)
Life is worth so much.
Life is more than spending endless hours in the gym
and eating carrot and celery sticks just to seek approval
from others. It is not about basing my everyday existence
an eternal word of wisdom of long-dead self proclaimed
philosophers and saints. My life is not about living somebody
else's dreams and beliefs but my own.
Life is so much more than merely pursuing the norms of the
society but trying to be a good person in my own accord.
It is not about wildly chasing dreams to be superior over others.
It's more about long walks down serene green meadows
drowned in my own thoughts. It's more about feeling the
wind hit my face, as I traverse my bicycle down the lane.
Life is about passion, freedom and love.
I will only walk this road once;
I might as well make the most of it.
--- Copyright © 2008 Katherine Whellams
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
10:29 PM
today desu ne.
today desu nee...
today desu neeeee....
hai. nanimo nai. haha.
jitsuwa, today's a april fool day!
but nobody did play any joke leh..
i rmb during secondary school we guys, my
classmates will definitely play jokes on each other
and even the teachers are involved! so fun.
but this year, so boring. oh well.
nothing much to update cause i'm so lazy to type them
all out so shall type when i'm really really free.
sore jya! :)
things aren't the same anymore.
deep in my heart i realised i still couldn't forget YOU.
it's been 2 years since i've last saw you.
now, i've been dreaming about you.
oh man. this is bad. this IS really bad.
this can't be happening!
i force myself to forget you and now this happens.
what in the world has happened to me?
don't wish to think. don't wish to say anymore.
just hoping it'll end soon.
it'll be over.
IT WILL BE OVER.
Recorded by Jun
onLIVE: Junnie's records
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